As most of my friends and family know, this past weekend I had my first date after being divorced for over three years. It was pleasant and something new. A few minutes ago I got a phone call from ole dude's wife. Should I continue...?
This morning I had just blogged how God had shown me peace that passeth all understanding. Okay, God, this was a set-up. He gave me peace last night so I could turn around and use it again this morning. What a set-up!
Anyway, I am sitting at work and my cell phone goes rings with an unidentifiable phone number. When I answered, she said in a sweet and calm voice, "Hi! I saw you sent an email to my husband and was calling to find out what it was about." I had an instant flash back as to when I called the woman that my ex-husband was cheating with and the long pause between my question and her response of, "I'm so sorry."
I tried my best to assure her that I asked him point blank if he was in a relationship and he said he has been divorced for over 9 years. I gave up ALL the info to her after that. The date and place we met, how he approached me and we exchanged cards and that I even talked to his daughter, Stacey, on the phone. She explained that Stacey was from a previous marriage and that him and her recently had boys. They originally had triplets but one died in October of last year. I continued to apologize and then thought of all the things I wanted to know when I was in her shoes. I assured her there was no physical contact whatsoever and even went so far as sharing with her that I am saved and would not jeopardize all that I am believing God for on any man.
She sounded calm throughout our conversation. I shared with her that I know how she feels because it happened to me. However, I told her that she was more calm than I was. She stated that back in the day she would have went off but now life is bigger than this situation. I have mad respect for her in this area.
Anyway, you know how I have confessed that this is my peculiar year. I then began to share with her that God glorifies marriage and that I pray that God will restore their marriage. That God will handle Chris with mercy and that she can forgive him and rebuild what God has put together. I am sure I apologized 10 more times but she seemed sincere in her thank you, and we ended with, "May God bless you."
When I hung up the phone, I closed my office door and immediately cried, "FATHER, YOU PROMISED NO DECEITFUL MEN WOULD ENTER MY LIFE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!" I was devastated. Not because I knew ole dude was not Boaz, but because when I finally grew open to dating again, my first time out the blocks, I get knocked out by a hit in the head with the ball.
Thirty minutes before typing this, I was a wreck. Snot nose, make-up running and sobbing speech. Of course I had to call somebody. I called Mrs. M and she helped me see the victory in it. God spoke to my spirit on Sunday that Chris was disobedient in some area of his life. I assumed it was his business so I gave him a copy of Pastor Gary's sermon: Obedience is the Greatest Form of Worship.
The victory is that I did nothing wrong and God will convict Chris through the CD, me and now his wife. She called me back while I was typing this and stated that she confronted him but he denied it all. She said she is trying to figure out what she is going to do. God, move in their life and make their relationship be a testimony to you.
so if you are single and reading this, know God is a healer. God is a restorer. God is still faithful. And I still believe that God will not send any deceitful men my way. That as you walk in obedience, God will get all the glory!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Understanding
Last night the Money Smart class I taught graduated and it was a joyous time. Not only was I so proud of everyone, but I believe their lives have been changed from a vital choice they have made. They took the step to learn more about managing their finances so they can have freedom in controlling their money.
During the dinner part of the banquet, my cell phone rang. Normally I turn it off during class but I must have left it on by accident. Later, I realized it was no accident. Qenya's daycare provider called at 6:45pm inquiring about who was picking her up. My heart started beating a million times a minute it felt like. I immediately called her back and stated I would get in touch with my friend who was scheduled to pick her up while I attended our last class session.
I called my friend's cell number and got her voicemail. I left a message trying to stay as calm as possible and thinking the whole time, this is out of character for her, something must be wrong. I immediately asked God to make sure her and her daughter- who she would be traveling with- were safe no matter where they were at. I then called another friend with panic in my voice asking her to pick up Qenya. She agreed, thank God, but my spirit was still unsettled at the uncertainty of my other friend.
I called her again and got her voicemail. I then started talking to myself saying that I prayed for their safety so stand on that. I could not leave my class because we were just beginning the award ceremony where I pass out their certificates. I thought briefly of how was I going to pay for the late fees to the daycare. I thought what if my other friend was unreachable, what would I have done. I knew Qenya was safe but I thought what if my daycare provider had other plans since all kids are suppose to be picked up by 6:30pm. I felt guilty for being there watching a dream come to pass when my friends are inconveniencing themselves to help grow my business by watching after my daughter. Needless to say, I was a total wreck on the inside but I hope I think I kept it together on the outside.
One of my former students was sitting next to me when I was asked to come up to the front of the room and announce the graduates. I asked her to wave at me if my cell phone vibrated again and she agreed. We made it through all the graduates and I immediately went to her to see if my phone went off. It did but I do not recall her signaling me which was probably good. What would I have done? I immediately checked my voicemail and it was my other friend stating it was now 7:05pm and she had Qenya at her house. I felt some relief but we still did not know the whereabouts of my friend and her daughter.
Around 7:32pm, immediately after the graduation, I left and sped toward home. I called my godmother's cell phone but only voicemail so I hung up. I called my godfather's house and he picked up. I asked if he had talked to my friend's husband and explained why. He just hung up from talking to him and agreed to call him back to find out about his wife. I waited about 2 minutes then called my godfather back and he stated that she and her daughter were at home and when her husband called and asked if she was to pick up Qenya today, she screamed and began to cry in fear of forgetting. She had so much on her plate that day that she just forgot. I have to admit, I truly understand.
So I called my friend who actually picked up Qenya and waited to call my other friend until she calmed down. Now my head was swimming with confusion as to why I wasn't mad, freaking out anymore, or screaming for what could have happened. I exhaled at this point for answered prayer of my friends safety and thought, "God, why am I so calm? This is not the old me." That was my answer.
When I was almost to Qenya, my friend called to apologize and explain how her schedule was packed with various errands that she forgot. I tried to assure her that I knew it was an accident and shared with her that my prayer was for her safety more so then anything else. I know her family loves Qenya, and her husband stated he would bet me that she will never forget again. I knew this even without him saying anything.
After I look back on the whole incident, I see God's hand in it all. I do not understand everything I am suppose to learn from it, but I know that God is good. My daycare provider did not consider the incident as neglect because I have never had any late fees during the two years my daughter has been in her care. Most daycare centers call CPS when a child is not picked up. That's God! My other friend was close to the daycare at the time I called in panic asking her to pick up Qenya and she did it with no hesitation. That's God! My godfather was on the phone with my friend's husband so we were able to confirm the safety of my friend and her daughter immediately. That's God! God made His Word come alive when I remembered Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." That's God!
During the dinner part of the banquet, my cell phone rang. Normally I turn it off during class but I must have left it on by accident. Later, I realized it was no accident. Qenya's daycare provider called at 6:45pm inquiring about who was picking her up. My heart started beating a million times a minute it felt like. I immediately called her back and stated I would get in touch with my friend who was scheduled to pick her up while I attended our last class session.
I called my friend's cell number and got her voicemail. I left a message trying to stay as calm as possible and thinking the whole time, this is out of character for her, something must be wrong. I immediately asked God to make sure her and her daughter- who she would be traveling with- were safe no matter where they were at. I then called another friend with panic in my voice asking her to pick up Qenya. She agreed, thank God, but my spirit was still unsettled at the uncertainty of my other friend.
I called her again and got her voicemail. I then started talking to myself saying that I prayed for their safety so stand on that. I could not leave my class because we were just beginning the award ceremony where I pass out their certificates. I thought briefly of how was I going to pay for the late fees to the daycare. I thought what if my other friend was unreachable, what would I have done. I knew Qenya was safe but I thought what if my daycare provider had other plans since all kids are suppose to be picked up by 6:30pm. I felt guilty for being there watching a dream come to pass when my friends are inconveniencing themselves to help grow my business by watching after my daughter. Needless to say, I was a total wreck on the inside but I hope I think I kept it together on the outside.
One of my former students was sitting next to me when I was asked to come up to the front of the room and announce the graduates. I asked her to wave at me if my cell phone vibrated again and she agreed. We made it through all the graduates and I immediately went to her to see if my phone went off. It did but I do not recall her signaling me which was probably good. What would I have done? I immediately checked my voicemail and it was my other friend stating it was now 7:05pm and she had Qenya at her house. I felt some relief but we still did not know the whereabouts of my friend and her daughter.
Around 7:32pm, immediately after the graduation, I left and sped toward home. I called my godmother's cell phone but only voicemail so I hung up. I called my godfather's house and he picked up. I asked if he had talked to my friend's husband and explained why. He just hung up from talking to him and agreed to call him back to find out about his wife. I waited about 2 minutes then called my godfather back and he stated that she and her daughter were at home and when her husband called and asked if she was to pick up Qenya today, she screamed and began to cry in fear of forgetting. She had so much on her plate that day that she just forgot. I have to admit, I truly understand.
So I called my friend who actually picked up Qenya and waited to call my other friend until she calmed down. Now my head was swimming with confusion as to why I wasn't mad, freaking out anymore, or screaming for what could have happened. I exhaled at this point for answered prayer of my friends safety and thought, "God, why am I so calm? This is not the old me." That was my answer.
When I was almost to Qenya, my friend called to apologize and explain how her schedule was packed with various errands that she forgot. I tried to assure her that I knew it was an accident and shared with her that my prayer was for her safety more so then anything else. I know her family loves Qenya, and her husband stated he would bet me that she will never forget again. I knew this even without him saying anything.
After I look back on the whole incident, I see God's hand in it all. I do not understand everything I am suppose to learn from it, but I know that God is good. My daycare provider did not consider the incident as neglect because I have never had any late fees during the two years my daughter has been in her care. Most daycare centers call CPS when a child is not picked up. That's God! My other friend was close to the daycare at the time I called in panic asking her to pick up Qenya and she did it with no hesitation. That's God! My godfather was on the phone with my friend's husband so we were able to confirm the safety of my friend and her daughter immediately. That's God! God made His Word come alive when I remembered Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." That's God!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
You Already Know
JJ sent me a link this morning that set me on fire for the Lord! I was already reeved up from my commute listening to J. Moss but this was over the top.
The link was to Kirk Cameron's ministry: Way of the Master . According to this ministry's, 150,000 people die every 24 hours and most without a Savior. Their goal is to inspire and equip Christians to save lost souls. Watch this video:
http://www.wayofthemaster.com/watchwitnessing.shtml
There are several videos of Kirk and other people doing Street Ministry on this link. I sent the link to BrownEnglishMuffin, not so much for her to hear the questions they used to witness, but for the reactions of the people who they spoke with on the streets and airplane. It was non-confrontational and most of the people knew they were not living right and had the option to change it that day. Some of them knew about Jesus but had little revelation that going to heaven involved more than being a nice person and asking God for forgiveness when you knowingly do something wrong.
Just from their efforts, at least one member of that Gang may not go to hell when he dies, nor kill one of our relatives, disrespect somebody's sister or be incarcerated for the rest of his life. All of them were attentive and one of them kept asking questions which to me shows a desire to live in eternity with Jesus and not in the pit of hell with the devil.
In watching this, I thought, what if Ray Comfort, Kirk and his colleagues stopped doing Street Ministry. What if all of us who call ourselves Christians stop trying to save lost souls or share the love of God with others? What if we only responded to the Commandments that we liked vs all of them that are designed to set us free? What if we- everyone reading this- are on our way to hell? Would we want someone to talk to us for 5 minutes and give us information to save us from an eternal life of fire, screaming, horror and darkness?
I would.
The link was to Kirk Cameron's ministry: Way of the Master . According to this ministry's, 150,000 people die every 24 hours and most without a Savior. Their goal is to inspire and equip Christians to save lost souls. Watch this video:
http://www.wayofthemaster.com/watchwitnessing.shtmlThere are several videos of Kirk and other people doing Street Ministry on this link. I sent the link to BrownEnglishMuffin, not so much for her to hear the questions they used to witness, but for the reactions of the people who they spoke with on the streets and airplane. It was non-confrontational and most of the people knew they were not living right and had the option to change it that day. Some of them knew about Jesus but had little revelation that going to heaven involved more than being a nice person and asking God for forgiveness when you knowingly do something wrong.
Just from their efforts, at least one member of that Gang may not go to hell when he dies, nor kill one of our relatives, disrespect somebody's sister or be incarcerated for the rest of his life. All of them were attentive and one of them kept asking questions which to me shows a desire to live in eternity with Jesus and not in the pit of hell with the devil.
In watching this, I thought, what if Ray Comfort, Kirk and his colleagues stopped doing Street Ministry. What if all of us who call ourselves Christians stop trying to save lost souls or share the love of God with others? What if we only responded to the Commandments that we liked vs all of them that are designed to set us free? What if we- everyone reading this- are on our way to hell? Would we want someone to talk to us for 5 minutes and give us information to save us from an eternal life of fire, screaming, horror and darkness?
I would.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Remnant of Escape
As I mentioned in the previous post, God gives us a remnant of escape. A remnant is a narrow space or area. No matter the circumstance or situation, within a split second, Our Father, can snatch us from the devil's claws into His loving arms where we are safe.
Like most Christian singles, I desire to date without all the temptations that our flesh add to the equation. Not just the sexual temptations, but urges to convert to old habits, old ways, backward thinking, stereotypes, sinful thoughts and behaviors, bad mannerisms, and whatever else. Satan on the other hand tries to bring all these things to the forefront but we must remember that God is just a breath away. Saying the Name of Jesus before you see the person, before you hear their voice, before you recognize how nice they look in that sweater or how perfect their teeth are, prayer should occur. Not just for them but for you to not toss away the years that you have surrendered to God and worked hard at keeping His commandments.
The hard part though is being happy about the attention and attraction but not losing perspective of your First Love. Your True Love. Tu a Dios. Not letting phone calls distract you from Bible Study and meditation. Not letting a newly heard laugh interfere with the giggles from your kids. Not you making time for them to fit him in your schedule but letting God provide opportunities for him to fit into God's schedule for you.
I think all of this falls under the scriptures that speak on depart from iniquities. It is not worth giving up all the time invested in Kingdom building, reading your Bible, serving, praying, believing, stepping out on faith, trusting, abiding, and expecting miracles just to dabble in sin. For any singles reading this, it is not worth giving up what God has that is eternal for what man has that is temporal.
That is the decision factor there: Do you want short-term discomfort for long-term gain? A resounding YES should be the answer. Do you want God to reveal all His secrets to you as He promised in His Word? YES. Do you want the rewards of obedience? YES. Do you want all the things you have been praying for over the years to come to pass? YES. Then run when God provides the remnant of escape. Don't look back like Lot's wife; but run like Forrest Gump! Say no now so God can say yes! It is easy to say no when temptation is not breathing on your neck, but I believe if we say no ahead of time, God will give us a remnant of escape!
Like most Christian singles, I desire to date without all the temptations that our flesh add to the equation. Not just the sexual temptations, but urges to convert to old habits, old ways, backward thinking, stereotypes, sinful thoughts and behaviors, bad mannerisms, and whatever else. Satan on the other hand tries to bring all these things to the forefront but we must remember that God is just a breath away. Saying the Name of Jesus before you see the person, before you hear their voice, before you recognize how nice they look in that sweater or how perfect their teeth are, prayer should occur. Not just for them but for you to not toss away the years that you have surrendered to God and worked hard at keeping His commandments.
The hard part though is being happy about the attention and attraction but not losing perspective of your First Love. Your True Love. Tu a Dios. Not letting phone calls distract you from Bible Study and meditation. Not letting a newly heard laugh interfere with the giggles from your kids. Not you making time for them to fit him in your schedule but letting God provide opportunities for him to fit into God's schedule for you.
I think all of this falls under the scriptures that speak on depart from iniquities. It is not worth giving up all the time invested in Kingdom building, reading your Bible, serving, praying, believing, stepping out on faith, trusting, abiding, and expecting miracles just to dabble in sin. For any singles reading this, it is not worth giving up what God has that is eternal for what man has that is temporal.
That is the decision factor there: Do you want short-term discomfort for long-term gain? A resounding YES should be the answer. Do you want God to reveal all His secrets to you as He promised in His Word? YES. Do you want the rewards of obedience? YES. Do you want all the things you have been praying for over the years to come to pass? YES. Then run when God provides the remnant of escape. Don't look back like Lot's wife; but run like Forrest Gump! Say no now so God can say yes! It is easy to say no when temptation is not breathing on your neck, but I believe if we say no ahead of time, God will give us a remnant of escape!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
My Peculiar Day
Yesterday was a peculiar and great day! As I told someone, "I love my life." I thank God for where I am in my life and expect for Him to elevated me in in every area of my life.
Friday night, Qenya went to stay with her dad for the weekend. Normally when he picks her up on Fridays, I come back home wondering what do I do now. I miss her when she is not with me but thank God that I know He always has Angels of protection and perfection around her. This Friday night was different. I was looking forward to sleep. She left at 8pm and I was sleep by 9:30pm.
I had set the alarm for 2am so I could organize my materials for a job I had on Saturday morning. I knew the night before I had everything but God, so far, gives me wonderful ideas and presentations early in the morning. I love these times with Him. So I got up at 2am and got on my knees and face before God thanking Him for everything. If you have not done it, get up early one morning and talk to God. There is nothing like it. It is indescribable The Power that will overtake you being in The Presence of the Lord. To be allowed to enjoy His day and to enter into His Glory. Hallelujah!
So after I prayed, I knew I had a lot I wanted to get done this weekend so I made a list. I stopped when I had to turn the paper over to write because I knew it all would not get done. I also planned to squeeze 15 min on my elliptical machine this morning but it did not happen.
Since I had a job to go to by 8am, I had to wash my car. Yes, I should have done it Friday night but I didn't so oh well. So around 3:15am, I drove to an automatic car wash. While the machine was washing my car, I read my KIDMO lesson for today. It is a good one- like they all are. The focus is on loving the unlovable. We will draw pictures of people who have not been kind or loving to us. Then we will throw them in one big pile and see who can pick up the most within a given time period with only two fingers. One from each hand. The lesson is that we have a limited time on earth to bring others to the Kingdom of God. How many do we want to help save? I look forward to seeing and praying with my fourth graders in KIDMO!
After my car was clean, I returned home and made sure I had all my materials for the two presentations. I was blessed with teaching Money Smart to teens at the Annual Family Expo sponsored by the AKA's. God gave me the theme of TAKE CONTROL so this was my focus with the young ladies and men I taught Saturday morning. I was disappointed with the turn out but I remembered God told me before I had one client that if He sends me one, I will change that family and have done what He asked me. For the two sessions, there was a total of 8 students and I believe God showed me one student for sure who will convince his parents to put his money in the bank to grow interest and not leave it in his money jar at home.
Once the workshops were done, I had plans for a first date. I will have to share a tiny bit of it in a different blog but let me say this: Everybody is looking to be loved! So if you are married, stay married because being single and dating in the 21st century is the hardest challenge of a Christian! It is fun but the devil brings out things you think are dead or never knew existed, BUT GOD, will keep us IF we pray ahead of time and in the midst of building relationships. God did marvels in my life yesterday and I thank Him. Look for blog in a few days titled: Remnant of Escape.
This morning, I thank God for confirming something I had questions about after my date yesterday. My date was great, the man is dark like an Oreo cookie which I love, sexy, educated, aggressive, observant, loving and has nice teeth. However, I kept praying for my thoughts to be protected and keep God first.
The Holy Spirit lead me to Ezra 9 this morning. I have never read the book of Ezra nor know anything about him. However, these scriptures were perfect like my Father always performs. The chapter is about Ezra being ashamed that once again the Israelites have purposely sinned against God. In verse 6, he tells God the sins are so great the he is ashamed. But God in verse 8 shows them a "remnant of escape". He has given us grace and in verse 13 "...has punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant." The revelation was that God always gives us an escape from sinning against Him and He gave me and my date just that. Praise the Lord!
So I love peculiar days! God is still first. God is the love of my life. God is the Joy of my life!
Friday night, Qenya went to stay with her dad for the weekend. Normally when he picks her up on Fridays, I come back home wondering what do I do now. I miss her when she is not with me but thank God that I know He always has Angels of protection and perfection around her. This Friday night was different. I was looking forward to sleep. She left at 8pm and I was sleep by 9:30pm.
I had set the alarm for 2am so I could organize my materials for a job I had on Saturday morning. I knew the night before I had everything but God, so far, gives me wonderful ideas and presentations early in the morning. I love these times with Him. So I got up at 2am and got on my knees and face before God thanking Him for everything. If you have not done it, get up early one morning and talk to God. There is nothing like it. It is indescribable The Power that will overtake you being in The Presence of the Lord. To be allowed to enjoy His day and to enter into His Glory. Hallelujah!
So after I prayed, I knew I had a lot I wanted to get done this weekend so I made a list. I stopped when I had to turn the paper over to write because I knew it all would not get done. I also planned to squeeze 15 min on my elliptical machine this morning but it did not happen.
Since I had a job to go to by 8am, I had to wash my car. Yes, I should have done it Friday night but I didn't so oh well. So around 3:15am, I drove to an automatic car wash. While the machine was washing my car, I read my KIDMO lesson for today. It is a good one- like they all are. The focus is on loving the unlovable. We will draw pictures of people who have not been kind or loving to us. Then we will throw them in one big pile and see who can pick up the most within a given time period with only two fingers. One from each hand. The lesson is that we have a limited time on earth to bring others to the Kingdom of God. How many do we want to help save? I look forward to seeing and praying with my fourth graders in KIDMO!
After my car was clean, I returned home and made sure I had all my materials for the two presentations. I was blessed with teaching Money Smart to teens at the Annual Family Expo sponsored by the AKA's. God gave me the theme of TAKE CONTROL so this was my focus with the young ladies and men I taught Saturday morning. I was disappointed with the turn out but I remembered God told me before I had one client that if He sends me one, I will change that family and have done what He asked me. For the two sessions, there was a total of 8 students and I believe God showed me one student for sure who will convince his parents to put his money in the bank to grow interest and not leave it in his money jar at home.
Once the workshops were done, I had plans for a first date. I will have to share a tiny bit of it in a different blog but let me say this: Everybody is looking to be loved! So if you are married, stay married because being single and dating in the 21st century is the hardest challenge of a Christian! It is fun but the devil brings out things you think are dead or never knew existed, BUT GOD, will keep us IF we pray ahead of time and in the midst of building relationships. God did marvels in my life yesterday and I thank Him. Look for blog in a few days titled: Remnant of Escape.
This morning, I thank God for confirming something I had questions about after my date yesterday. My date was great, the man is dark like an Oreo cookie which I love, sexy, educated, aggressive, observant, loving and has nice teeth. However, I kept praying for my thoughts to be protected and keep God first.
The Holy Spirit lead me to Ezra 9 this morning. I have never read the book of Ezra nor know anything about him. However, these scriptures were perfect like my Father always performs. The chapter is about Ezra being ashamed that once again the Israelites have purposely sinned against God. In verse 6, he tells God the sins are so great the he is ashamed. But God in verse 8 shows them a "remnant of escape". He has given us grace and in verse 13 "...has punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant." The revelation was that God always gives us an escape from sinning against Him and He gave me and my date just that. Praise the Lord!
So I love peculiar days! God is still first. God is the love of my life. God is the Joy of my life!
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