When You Don't Know

Sometimes people respond with, "All you have to do is ask." or "How come you did not ask?"  Well, I have learned sometimes people- including myself- don't ask because we don't know what to ask.  Not that our vocabulary is not large enough to find the words or that we lack courage:  sometimes you flat out don't know.

In my new profession which by the way I am giving all credit and responsibility to God, I believe I will be successful but looking at where I am today even makes me question it.  It seems like most days I am being pulled more directions than I have limbs and I am praying that all my limbs stay attached.  Some may have only a few strands clinging on, but I thank God they are still attached.

So what do I do?  I should ask God for help first before asking veteran teachers for help.  I should wait for God to respond and show me what to do and where to go before taking the next step.  I should remind God that this was His idea for me to teach at this time, at this school, these particular students and with these particular resources.  I should keep my mouth closed so I can hear Him speak to my Spirit since I asked Him for help.  What else should I do?  What else should I ask?  I don't really know.  Somebody has to know.  God had to tell somebody because all this frustration, lack of sleep, discontentment, anxiety and questioning is not of God but the enemy.  Jesus defeated the enemy and I just told my students that we must have the authority to defeat the enemy too because Jesus lives inside of us.  If I told them the truth, then why do I feel like I am standing in quicksand?

This weekend I went to a Book/Bible Study that I have attended for several months.  The book has transformed my life in ways I never imagined.  The discussions and revelations that have transpired from our meetings and encounters with the Holy Spirit are indescribable.  However, the one thing I can describe is that the Holy Spirit is real, tangible and alive; speaking in tongues is vital to our relationship with Jesus Christ; and  all my questions to ask and to be answered can be addressed when I pray in The Spirit.  I am convinced of this.  So that is the answer to the questions I have asked, didn't ask and did not know what to ask.  They are revealed when I pray to The Father in The Spirit.  Oops, I guess I just confessed that my time praying in the Spirit has been slipping!

For a minute or two, I struggled with 1 Corinthians 14:4 because I did not understand what it meant to edify myself.  I thought it meant to puff myself up when actually it is like building up spiritual muscles.  The more I pray in tongues and commune with the Holy Spirit, the stronger my Spirit becomes.  The stronger my Spirit becomes, the greater level of discernment I possess, wisdom of Spiritual things that God wants me to know, easier for me to hear His voice and direction so I am doing what I am suppose to do during His timing, and operating in any other gifts He ask me to at the particular times He designates. 

Why are these things important?  For me because I do not like living with all the negative things I mentioned before- anxiety, frustration, doubt, questions, etc.  Is praying in tongues a cure-all?  Will I never have negative emotions or attacks from the enemy again if I pray in tongues?  Jesus said trials will come.  However, since I am continuously praying in tongues, the attacks have less of a sting.  By staying fit and strong in my Spirit, I am maturing in my relationship with Christ which means I am preparing for new levels and new assignments.  By communicating with the Father in my private prayer language, the devil leaves me alone because He is frustrated from not knowing what Jesus and I are talking about.  That is the best benefit of praying in tongues as far as I am concerned- the enemy has no idea of how God is equipping me to fulfill the call on my life. 

In the midst this, I am excited about helping others receive their prayer language.  Just like a good restaurant we recommend and brag on to our family, friends and students.  We should do the same thing with recommending the baptism in the Holy Spirit to our family, friends and students.  The food from your favorite restaurant is a gift only when you go to that restaurant; but receiving a new language that brings you in the presence of God can be enjoyed at anytime of the day.

God is beautiful and He loves me enough to give me a language that only He and I understand.  This means He wants one-on-one time with me and that's special!