As most of my friends and family know, this past weekend I had my first date after being divorced for over three years. It was pleasant and something new. A few minutes ago I got a phone call from ole dude's wife. Should I continue...?
This morning I had just blogged how God had shown me peace that passeth all understanding. Okay, God, this was a set-up. He gave me peace last night so I could turn around and use it again this morning. What a set-up!
Anyway, I am sitting at work and my cell phone goes rings with an unidentifiable phone number. When I answered, she said in a sweet and calm voice, "Hi! I saw you sent an email to my husband and was calling to find out what it was about." I had an instant flash back as to when I called the woman that my ex-husband was cheating with and the long pause between my question and her response of, "I'm so sorry."
I tried my best to assure her that I asked him point blank if he was in a relationship and he said he has been divorced for over 9 years. I gave up ALL the info to her after that. The date and place we met, how he approached me and we exchanged cards and that I even talked to his daughter, Stacey, on the phone. She explained that Stacey was from a previous marriage and that him and her recently had boys. They originally had triplets but one died in October of last year. I continued to apologize and then thought of all the things I wanted to know when I was in her shoes. I assured her there was no physical contact whatsoever and even went so far as sharing with her that I am saved and would not jeopardize all that I am believing God for on any man.
She sounded calm throughout our conversation. I shared with her that I know how she feels because it happened to me. However, I told her that she was more calm than I was. She stated that back in the day she would have went off but now life is bigger than this situation. I have mad respect for her in this area.
Anyway, you know how I have confessed that this is my peculiar year. I then began to share with her that God glorifies marriage and that I pray that God will restore their marriage. That God will handle Chris with mercy and that she can forgive him and rebuild what God has put together. I am sure I apologized 10 more times but she seemed sincere in her thank you, and we ended with, "May God bless you."
When I hung up the phone, I closed my office door and immediately cried, "FATHER, YOU PROMISED NO DECEITFUL MEN WOULD ENTER MY LIFE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!" I was devastated. Not because I knew ole dude was not Boaz, but because when I finally grew open to dating again, my first time out the blocks, I get knocked out by a hit in the head with the ball.
Thirty minutes before typing this, I was a wreck. Snot nose, make-up running and sobbing speech. Of course I had to call somebody. I called Mrs. M and she helped me see the victory in it. God spoke to my spirit on Sunday that Chris was disobedient in some area of his life. I assumed it was his business so I gave him a copy of Pastor Gary's sermon: Obedience is the Greatest Form of Worship.
The victory is that I did nothing wrong and God will convict Chris through the CD, me and now his wife. She called me back while I was typing this and stated that she confronted him but he denied it all. She said she is trying to figure out what she is going to do. God, move in their life and make their relationship be a testimony to you.
so if you are single and reading this, know God is a healer. God is a restorer. God is still faithful. And I still believe that God will not send any deceitful men my way. That as you walk in obedience, God will get all the glory!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Understanding
Last night the Money Smart class I taught graduated and it was a joyous time. Not only was I so proud of everyone, but I believe their lives have been changed from a vital choice they have made. They took the step to learn more about managing their finances so they can have freedom in controlling their money.
During the dinner part of the banquet, my cell phone rang. Normally I turn it off during class but I must have left it on by accident. Later, I realized it was no accident. Qenya's daycare provider called at 6:45pm inquiring about who was picking her up. My heart started beating a million times a minute it felt like. I immediately called her back and stated I would get in touch with my friend who was scheduled to pick her up while I attended our last class session.
I called my friend's cell number and got her voicemail. I left a message trying to stay as calm as possible and thinking the whole time, this is out of character for her, something must be wrong. I immediately asked God to make sure her and her daughter- who she would be traveling with- were safe no matter where they were at. I then called another friend with panic in my voice asking her to pick up Qenya. She agreed, thank God, but my spirit was still unsettled at the uncertainty of my other friend.
I called her again and got her voicemail. I then started talking to myself saying that I prayed for their safety so stand on that. I could not leave my class because we were just beginning the award ceremony where I pass out their certificates. I thought briefly of how was I going to pay for the late fees to the daycare. I thought what if my other friend was unreachable, what would I have done. I knew Qenya was safe but I thought what if my daycare provider had other plans since all kids are suppose to be picked up by 6:30pm. I felt guilty for being there watching a dream come to pass when my friends are inconveniencing themselves to help grow my business by watching after my daughter. Needless to say, I was a total wreck on the inside but I hope I think I kept it together on the outside.
One of my former students was sitting next to me when I was asked to come up to the front of the room and announce the graduates. I asked her to wave at me if my cell phone vibrated again and she agreed. We made it through all the graduates and I immediately went to her to see if my phone went off. It did but I do not recall her signaling me which was probably good. What would I have done? I immediately checked my voicemail and it was my other friend stating it was now 7:05pm and she had Qenya at her house. I felt some relief but we still did not know the whereabouts of my friend and her daughter.
Around 7:32pm, immediately after the graduation, I left and sped toward home. I called my godmother's cell phone but only voicemail so I hung up. I called my godfather's house and he picked up. I asked if he had talked to my friend's husband and explained why. He just hung up from talking to him and agreed to call him back to find out about his wife. I waited about 2 minutes then called my godfather back and he stated that she and her daughter were at home and when her husband called and asked if she was to pick up Qenya today, she screamed and began to cry in fear of forgetting. She had so much on her plate that day that she just forgot. I have to admit, I truly understand.
So I called my friend who actually picked up Qenya and waited to call my other friend until she calmed down. Now my head was swimming with confusion as to why I wasn't mad, freaking out anymore, or screaming for what could have happened. I exhaled at this point for answered prayer of my friends safety and thought, "God, why am I so calm? This is not the old me." That was my answer.
When I was almost to Qenya, my friend called to apologize and explain how her schedule was packed with various errands that she forgot. I tried to assure her that I knew it was an accident and shared with her that my prayer was for her safety more so then anything else. I know her family loves Qenya, and her husband stated he would bet me that she will never forget again. I knew this even without him saying anything.
After I look back on the whole incident, I see God's hand in it all. I do not understand everything I am suppose to learn from it, but I know that God is good. My daycare provider did not consider the incident as neglect because I have never had any late fees during the two years my daughter has been in her care. Most daycare centers call CPS when a child is not picked up. That's God! My other friend was close to the daycare at the time I called in panic asking her to pick up Qenya and she did it with no hesitation. That's God! My godfather was on the phone with my friend's husband so we were able to confirm the safety of my friend and her daughter immediately. That's God! God made His Word come alive when I remembered Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." That's God!
During the dinner part of the banquet, my cell phone rang. Normally I turn it off during class but I must have left it on by accident. Later, I realized it was no accident. Qenya's daycare provider called at 6:45pm inquiring about who was picking her up. My heart started beating a million times a minute it felt like. I immediately called her back and stated I would get in touch with my friend who was scheduled to pick her up while I attended our last class session.
I called my friend's cell number and got her voicemail. I left a message trying to stay as calm as possible and thinking the whole time, this is out of character for her, something must be wrong. I immediately asked God to make sure her and her daughter- who she would be traveling with- were safe no matter where they were at. I then called another friend with panic in my voice asking her to pick up Qenya. She agreed, thank God, but my spirit was still unsettled at the uncertainty of my other friend.
I called her again and got her voicemail. I then started talking to myself saying that I prayed for their safety so stand on that. I could not leave my class because we were just beginning the award ceremony where I pass out their certificates. I thought briefly of how was I going to pay for the late fees to the daycare. I thought what if my other friend was unreachable, what would I have done. I knew Qenya was safe but I thought what if my daycare provider had other plans since all kids are suppose to be picked up by 6:30pm. I felt guilty for being there watching a dream come to pass when my friends are inconveniencing themselves to help grow my business by watching after my daughter. Needless to say, I was a total wreck on the inside but I hope I think I kept it together on the outside.
One of my former students was sitting next to me when I was asked to come up to the front of the room and announce the graduates. I asked her to wave at me if my cell phone vibrated again and she agreed. We made it through all the graduates and I immediately went to her to see if my phone went off. It did but I do not recall her signaling me which was probably good. What would I have done? I immediately checked my voicemail and it was my other friend stating it was now 7:05pm and she had Qenya at her house. I felt some relief but we still did not know the whereabouts of my friend and her daughter.
Around 7:32pm, immediately after the graduation, I left and sped toward home. I called my godmother's cell phone but only voicemail so I hung up. I called my godfather's house and he picked up. I asked if he had talked to my friend's husband and explained why. He just hung up from talking to him and agreed to call him back to find out about his wife. I waited about 2 minutes then called my godfather back and he stated that she and her daughter were at home and when her husband called and asked if she was to pick up Qenya today, she screamed and began to cry in fear of forgetting. She had so much on her plate that day that she just forgot. I have to admit, I truly understand.
So I called my friend who actually picked up Qenya and waited to call my other friend until she calmed down. Now my head was swimming with confusion as to why I wasn't mad, freaking out anymore, or screaming for what could have happened. I exhaled at this point for answered prayer of my friends safety and thought, "God, why am I so calm? This is not the old me." That was my answer.
When I was almost to Qenya, my friend called to apologize and explain how her schedule was packed with various errands that she forgot. I tried to assure her that I knew it was an accident and shared with her that my prayer was for her safety more so then anything else. I know her family loves Qenya, and her husband stated he would bet me that she will never forget again. I knew this even without him saying anything.
After I look back on the whole incident, I see God's hand in it all. I do not understand everything I am suppose to learn from it, but I know that God is good. My daycare provider did not consider the incident as neglect because I have never had any late fees during the two years my daughter has been in her care. Most daycare centers call CPS when a child is not picked up. That's God! My other friend was close to the daycare at the time I called in panic asking her to pick up Qenya and she did it with no hesitation. That's God! My godfather was on the phone with my friend's husband so we were able to confirm the safety of my friend and her daughter immediately. That's God! God made His Word come alive when I remembered Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." That's God!
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