Prepare Yourself

If you journal or at least did it years ago, prepare yourself before you go back and read what you wrote. I pulled out one of mine with blurbs from years 1998-2001 and it was scary. I do not know that person who did some of those things. She sound bitter, angry, confused, grateful and mixed up all in one. I am glad I have the records to prove how far God has brought me and how much He still needs to do in my life, but reading some of those things really freaked me out. Here are some embarrassing entries I will share:

• 09-18-98: Hair cut in DC resulted in a bald spot about 2 1/2 inches long at the top of my head. I went in for a Halle Berry cut and came out looking like Grace Jones.






• 04-28-00: I recorded calling a woman the "b" word after she talked to me like an idiot at work.


• 01-15-01: Fear of succeeding. Applying for management jobs with salaries of $65K/year knowing I was qualified to get one.


• 04-22-01: We bought a SUV yesterday and the payment are $650/month.




• 08-12-01: Today I weighed 237lbs and desired to weigh what I did in college.
• Somewhere in these years I read several curse words, wanting to slap people and sneaking into the movies without paying.

Thank God for forgiveness and deliverance! What a mess my life was but now... It is nothing but the grace of God that I no longer curse, no longer sit on the couch eating chips and cookies, have no desire to slap anybody- as often-, and no longer have fears of succeeding. I truly understands when He said He will make us a new creature because I am.